Protecting Our Children On the Web

Earlier this month our PTO President and I attended a fantastic presentation in Fairfax County, VA put on by an organization called Enough Is Enough. Their mission is to “Make the internet safer for children and their families.” The tools and resources they have compiled for parents over the past two years are invaluable; the intensity of the information is scary; and the message is critical to the safety of our children and their future. So what can you do as a parent to be the first line of defense for your child?

I used breakfast time this morning to chat with my oldest son about some of the things I learned. To my surprise he was interested and attentive to the information I had to share.

One thing I learned is that 7 out of 10 youth have been exposed to some form of inappropriate content and 79% of it is viewed in the home. My son confided he had seen an image while at a friend’s house and luckily, he didn’t feel ashamed or scared to tell me. I reassured him it is totally normal for a young person to want to see a naked woman (or man) and when approached in a healthy manner there is nothing wrong with the desire to know or understand more about how the sexual body works.

Parents fear having these conversations with their children either out of their own embarrassment or discomfort about their children having knowledge about sex. The problem is, kids do “know” about sex and have access to information about it at their fingertips and what they can’t easily find an answer to they will gladly ask a stranger who will be more than happy to provide an answer for them and often not in the manner in which a parent would approve of.

The first line of defense a parent can rely on starts with the bond they establish with their child. Children who don’t have trust with a caregiver are more vulnerable than children who are connected.

Second is the need for parents to become educated about what their tweens and teens are exposed to or have access to. Just because a child tells you they aren’t doing something doesn’t mean it’s true. Pay attention to their actions or behavior or what I like to call- tuning into your child (using your intuition). Educate yourself about social networks, texting, IMing, and other online activities your teen engages in. If you aren’t aware of the potential dangers your children will face, how will you know how to respond?

Finally, don’t be afraid to be the parent. Oftentimes we work hard to be our children’s friends when what they need is someone who will establish boundaries and be their parent. It’s one way kids know their parents love and care for them. Ask questions, set limits, be invasive if the situation warrants; take back your authority as the experienced adult in the house, but always remember to be respectful, listen and encourage your child to be open and honest with you about whatever they need to talk about.

The fact is kids are going to be curious and they will find away to satisfy their curiosity. As parents, we need to teach them how to manage the information they receive so they can make the right choices.

Tara Paterson, ACPI^TM Certified Coach For Parents,
Co-author of Raising Intuitive Children (New Page Books, spring '09)